Being in the military gives you time to reflect on the events and actions you’ve decided and steered throughout your life. Ive thought a lot about my family. I’ve thought a lot about my career. I’ve thought a lot of about her. An interesting motion in my life at the time. It made me realize how much my feelings for her were absolutely real. How much she really meant to me. I thought about her almost every night of boot camp. To the point where it hurt. I thought about how much I regretted, and how much I shouldn’t regret. I loved it. And I hated it. I loved her. And I hate her. But the craziest thing is I still do.